


Overshare

by jynx



Series: A Loving Heart is the Truest Wisdom [11]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family Drama, Family is very nosy, Jango wants grandbabies, M/M, Too much information
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 10:37:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20006947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jynx/pseuds/jynx
Summary: Rex wages war against the whiteboard his family has dubbed: “Number of Days Since Rex Got Laid”.





	Overshare

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dharmaavocado](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dharmaavocado/gifts).



> oh this is 1000000% Dharmaavacado's fault. ;D Hopefully it's a good.

Rex twitched when he got to work and saw the whiteboard had been updated. He hated that whiteboard. His family thought they were so funny. He had kept erasing it so someone--probably Cody but he wouldn't put it past his dad either--had gotten it officially printed to say “Number of Days Since Rex Got Laid”. The number was more or less accurate, which was what he got for working with family, although the fact they could tell by his mood when he wasn't getting any was kind of disturbing. 

“You know, we could have had sex last night,” he called out. “You don't know we didn't!” 

“It's Tuesday,” Cody said, coming in from the little office kitchen with a coffee mug. “Also if you had gotten any you wouldn't be here, you'd still be in bed.” 

Rex narrowed his eyes and pulled his t-shirt up, showing off the very livid hickeys Obi-Wan had left on his abs last night. “Say that again,” he dared. 

Cody arched an eyebrow at him as he took a slow, slurping sip of his coffee. 

“Oh, fuck you,” Rex said as he stalked over to the whiteboard and rubbed the numbers off with his fist. His family was full of assholes. 

“Did you just have a nice make out session?” Cody asked, the smirk evident in his voice. “You sure aren't acting like you got any last night. Or maybe he fell asleep on you?” 

“That was one time,” Rex said, defending Obi-Wan instantly. “You know he has issues sleeping sometimes and he'd been up for three days straight.” 

Cody’s eyebrow game was strong that morning and he packed all the judging he needed to into the exact arch of his brow. Rex hated that ability; he'd tried to figure out how Cody did it when they were in college and could never manage it. He ended up looking like a drunk dudebro which was never a good look on anyone. 

Wolffe walked in, yawning and rubbing the back of his head. “We having another board showdown?” he asked tiredly. 

“Rex claims he got laid last night,” Cody said. “Thinks some hickeys prove it.” 

“Nah, hickeys prove jackshit,” Wolffe said around another yawn. “They prove, like, first base. Not even anything more than that.” 

“I hate you all,” Rex said as he headed towards his desk. 

“Can't hate us, we're family,” Wolffe said. “There any coffee left?” 

“Fresh pot,” Cody said with a jerk of his thumb. 

“Family’s got nothing to do with this, I can hate you all I want,” Rex muttered as he booted up his computer. He dug his phone out and sent Obi-Wan a gif of Alan Rickman flipping a desk in anger. It took a moment before Obi-Wan responded with a gif from one of those sitcom shows with the woman going, “You know what's fun? Alcohol.” Rex loved his redhead so much. They’d had such a night of it last night that Obi-Wan had decided to call-in sick today. Rex was regretting not doing the same right now. 

“You telling Obi that we're being so mean to you?” Cody asked as he sat at his own desk. 

“I'm ignoring you,” Rex said. 

Cody's grin said it all. 

Rex slid his phone over and looked through the gifs in the app until he settled on one from Adventure Time saying “Life sucks.” Seconds later a gif of one of the Anchormen characters going “Can I get an Amen?” arrived and Rex grinned. Who needed words when gifs existed? 

“Aww, who wiped off the number?” Fives asked. “I thought they were going for a new record!” 

Rex scowled at his computer as he checked in on his clients. So far so good, no one had any complaints to issue or concerns. Things were good. There was one request that he act as a bodyguard for an event that he sent to his dad to approve or deny as needed. Jango was very careful with his family, making sure they never took jobs better suited for the police. They were private security, not paramilitary. 

“Rex claims he got laid last night,” Wolffe said. 

“It's Tuesday,” Fives said with honest bafflement. “They’re that old married couple who schedule sex and stuff like that. Except Rex still hasn't put a ring on that.” 

Rex felt his shoulders bunch up toward his ears and scowled harder at his screen. He and Obi-Wan had been dating for six years. They were comfortable. They didn't see the need for the whole rigamarole when they knew they were committed. Obi-Wan referred to Rex at his partner to his co-workers, and Rex usually just left it as boyfriend. His dad, though, had been getting pushy this last year. Every time he saw Obi-Wan these days it was all easy affection and then asking when he and Rex were planning on getting hitched. Sometimes he just played that stupid _Put A Ring On It_ song at them. 

“When are you two getting married and giving me grandbabies?” Jango had asked a few months ago when Obi-Wan had stopped by unexpectedly for lunch. 

Obi-Wan’s smirk had been impressive as Rex tried to hide behind his hand. “I know I have the hips for kids, Jango, but I just can't take the time off work. Feel free to consider my idiot brother and his sprogs as your grandkids.” 

Jango had squinted at Obi-Wan and that smirk and then sighed, flapping a hand and blowing a raspberry at them as Rex tried not to die of mortification and Obi-Wan cackled. His boyfriend was a menace. 

“Let Rex suffer with his feelings,” Cody called out. “He's still trying to figure out how to be a real boy.” 

“Where's your boyfriend or girlfriend or person you're at least interested in?” Rex demanded. “At least I'm in a relationship!” 

“Does it count as a relationship if you haven't had sex in almost twenty days?” Fives asked. 

“You have a fucked up definition of what a relationship means,” Rex said, fed up with his family. “No wonder you've never been able to keep a girl longer than a month.” 

Fives looked ready to murder him and only Wolffe grabbing the back of his shirt kept him from lunging at Rex. Rex couldn't help it, he smirked at Fives and leaned back in his chair. 

“I will let him go,” Wolffe warned. 

“What's going on?” Jango asked as he came into the room, two boxes of doughnuts in his hands. He glanced over at the whiteboard and snorted. “Rex, stop erasing the board.” 

“We already ruled I was allowed to fix that board when it was wrong,” Rex said, trying not to sulk. 

“After eighteen days? Sorry, kid, we need independent confirmation,” Jango said with a shrug as he set the doughnuts down. 

“What, do you assholes have cameras set up in our bedroom?!” Rex demanded. He would not put it past his family but that was also a line that he didn’t want crossed. 

“Nah, we'll just call your should-be-spouse,” Jango said as he dug his phone out of his back pocket. There was a sharp, shark-like grin on his face that reminded Rex that yes, this man was indeed his father and he lived for tormenting his sons. “You know Obi-Wan would be more than happy to confirm or deny your lies.” 

Rex slid down in his chair as Jango put the phone on speaker. He wished he was adopted. He listened as the phone rang once, twice--he even sent a desperate prayer to whoever was listening that it would just go to voicemail--when the phone was answered by swearing and the sound of it being dropped. Rex tried not to smile when Obi-Wan’s frantic, sleep-rusty voice answered. 

“H-hello?” 

“Hey, Obi--” 

“Jango?” Obi-Wan demanded, sounding a lot more awake as something in the background thudded. “What’s wrong? Is Rex all right, fucking hell, you all haven’t even been at work that long--” 

“I’m fine,” Rex said, coming over so the phone could pick his voice up. “Just wondering if you still have money for bail tucked away so when I kill my family you can get me out of jail.” 

Obi-Wan was quiet for a moment, probably still trying to process what was happening without coffee and come down from the panic, before he started swearing, soft and vicious. Fives whistled low in approval. “There’s money but trust me I’m going to kill them first. You don’t _do_ that, Jango!” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Jango chuckled. “Didn’t think of how it’d look. Everyone’s fine, we just wanted you to settle a question for us.” 

“A quest--? Yes, what is it?” Obi-Wan asked, sounding distracted. Rex dug into one of the boxes of doughnuts his dad had bought and snatched a glaze before Cody could and took a big bite. His brother glared at him as Rex made a show of enjoying his bite. 

“We have a whiteboard--” 

“I know all about the whiteboard,” Obi-Wan snorted. There was the sound of a door opening--he was probably going to fetch the paper Rex had ignored on his way out. “What are you doing to Rex now?” 

“They want to know if we had sex last night,” Rex said as he swallowed and took another bite of his doughnut. Yum. Jango had stopped at one of the good places. 

Obi-Wan was quiet for a moment before the tiny snort turned into a full on cackle. Jango arched an eyebrow as Wolffe shrugged and went for the doughnuts too. Cody glanced at Rex with a considering look as Fives huffed impatiently. 

“Okay, laughing is all well and good but--” Fives started when Obi-Wan interrupted him. 

“The next door neighbors threatened to call the cops on us we were so loud,” Obi-Wan said, the slightest hint of smugness in his voice. “I think it was our upstairs neighbors--” 

“Probably, the guy gave me a fistbump this morning and his girlfriend was glaring at me the entire time,” Rex said as he finished off his doughnut. 

“Yes, well. They started playing Rick Astley at us,” Obi-Wan said. There was a pause and then he cleared his throat. “Hi, Mrs Yukamura. Nice morning, yes?” They could barely make out the sound of Mrs Yukamura snapping something rude at Obi-Wan and the sound of a door slamming before Obi-Wan sighed into the phone. “Rex, you’re going to have to suck up to her. She clearly thinks I’m a demon again.” 

Rex bit his tongue. Obi-Wan was his demon, _sex_ demon that was. 

Cody lifted Rex’s shirt again, ignoring the swats Rex aimed at his head. “Well, in context, these are certainly different.” 

“Hands off,” Obi-Wan said lazily as a door closed. “He’s mine.” 

“He’s my _brother_ ,” Cody said, aiming a horrified look at the phone. 

“Yes, but he’s my boyfriend and I want him unblemished when he returns home,” Obi-Wan said. There was the sound of rummaging and a cabinet closing. “Rex, where’d you move the coffee?” 

Rex had to think about that for a moment. “Uh, right cabinet near the stove?” he said, guessing. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Fives said as Wolffe munched on his doughnut with a furrowed brow. “You, Workaholic Kenobi, you’re at home?” 

There was a distinct stretch of silence while Rex dug into the box for another doughnut--ooh, jelly--and then finally Obi-Wan said: “I didn’t feel like commuting an hour or more on public transit when I was so sore.” 

Wolffe promptly choked on his doughnut and Fives turned wide eyes on Rex. Cody squinted at him and shook his head while Jango grinned wolfishly. Well, at least it was only these four he was dealing with and not the whole family. 

“I don’t see it,” Cody said with a side-long look at Rex as Rex rolled his eyes at him. “He’s not that good.” 

Rex munched his doughnut in silent bliss as Obi-Wan snickered quietly. “We’re actually not allowed back to that one really nice hotel out in Boston, remember, Rex?” Rex did and couldn’t stop the smirk from tugging at his own lips. “Apparently they were not impressed we broke the bed or uh,” Obi-Wan coughed politely. “Anyway! I think that’s enough oversharing for one morning.” 

“When you gonna marry my son?” Jango demanded. 

Obi-Wan cackled and hung-up the phone. 

Rex finished off his doughnut and grinned at his dad. “Hey, can I have the rest of the day off? I have a boyfriend at home.” 

Jango shook his head as he grinned. “Yeah, sure,” he said. “We’ll update the board for you.” 

“Better be a big, fat _zero_ ,” Rex warned with narrowed eyes. 

Fives shuddered. “I need brain bleach,” he said. “I hate that Echo missed this. This isn’t fair.” 

“You can write the zero yourself,” Jango offered, looking around for a dry-erase marker. Cody handed him one as he sipped his coffee. 

“Serves you right,” Rex said, taking the marker and gleefully writing _0_ on the board. “You’re wrong most of the time too, for what it’s worth.” 

“Then why are you so goddamned grouchy?” Jango asked as Rex handed him back the marker on his way to his desk. 

“Because I have to put up with all of you nosy assholes,” Rex said as he shut his computer down and grabbed his bag. Today was a good day for an Uber to get home. He could surprise Obi-Wan and then maybe really piss off Mrs Yukamura. “Some things are just none of your business.” 


End file.
